Friday, March 03, 2006

Death, Torpedos, & a Visit from Grandma


This evening my Grandma came to visit and we all had dinner.

My grandma once had an arguement about cremation. Her old fashioned friend thought it would be wrong to do such a thing, because if your bones all burned up, how would Jesus put your body back together when he returned? I guess her friend forgot we were ash and dust to begin with. This happens a lot to people who grew up on Bible stories. They still believe in the magic, but years of logic has confused their wonder, and then they run into paradoxes like this. But don't worry folks, God is omnipotent, and can wink you into existance at the time of the second comming.

Then, my grandma said, "What's with building coffins so they lay down? Why not put them vertical, and make them tubes instead, so when Christ returns you... Fwoosh! Launch into the sky like a torpedo from the ground." I said, "Grandma, you are so wise. That would be a heck'uva'lot more fun." Not to mention it would save space. Coffins which lay down take up six feet of space at a time, but if we burried people standing upright then there would be head room to spare. That and the hope of the torpedo thing really make me want to make a request to be burried upright so that I can launch into the sky a thousand years later, when Christ returns. I guess I'll just settle for cremation, as it seems the economic thing to do.

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