Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Want to live Cancer free?


Watermelon!

Until I came here I did not know that Watermelon came in YELLOW! I am used to the red, juicy, sweet watermelon everybody associates with this delicious melon, however, about a week ago I was told there was another color. I said this must be a lie, because in all my years I would have at least heard about it. Especially when my father and grandmother are melon devourering machines. Their fondness of the melon should have opened them up to the vastness the melon has to offer! Never once did they inform me about the sacred YELLOW water melon.

So basically, it tasted exactly the same as the red type.

Want to live cancer free? Well, if you're Jewish I'm afraid you're out of luck, and will most likely die a very cocher and painful cancer filled death. Yet if you happen to be big on sea food, you're in luck!

The SQUID has been proven to contain more than 80 grams of inferon, the same drug that is being used to fight cancer today. Not only that, but God put the squid on the planet for the soul perpose of saving the human race, it seems. You see, every part of the squid is beneficial to the human body. It's skin produces skin regeneration in our own bodies. The squids ink has the inferon, and the squid organs (if consumed) will make you smarter as it is mostly a brain-food type animal. Forget your ginko and your numerous other memory drugs, eating one squid is the same as taking a weeks worth of ginko bioloba!

Japanese will be quick to point out the nutritional value of every item. These aren't people concerened with labols government enforced nutrition charts, no, these are people concerned with the very properties of the food itself, and how you can utilize it to it's best purposes.

They've been testing the "squid" theory on laboratory rats for the past few years and it seems feeding them squid blocks cancerous cells from forming. What's more, is feeding them squid kills the cancer cells they already have and cures them! Other sea food which has the same effect are crabs. And oddly enough pork also has a large amount of inferon. Frying pork with green vegies and you get about 20 grams worth. Noted it's nowhere near the 80 plus grams of squid, but it's worth noting. Again, I'm afraid the Jewish community is out of luck, as it appears God was thinking a little broader than the wisest holy men and mankinds best scientists. Dying of cancer? Eat a squid and a pig. You'll live longer!

3 comments:

Astrid said...

Yellow watermelon!!! Awesome! *Astrid falls off her chair, but quickly gets back on again* That is just really cool. However, I do not think they sell it in the Netherlands though. We don't even have yellow cucumbers. We do have an overload of yellow bananas though! Want one or two in return for the yellow watermelon?

Tristan Vick said...

I would love to trade, but I already have bananas. Do you have any kiwis? I like kiwis.

Astrid said...

Deal! Deal! Deal! *Astrid sends 29482984950347573495935873479 kiwis on an airplane to Tristan*