Wednesday, December 01, 2004

In a Special Special Entry

Zach posted his love's delight at his site. It's a charming read.
http://www.zgrosfield.blog.com/

In the ode to loved lovers, Zack asks:

"Does anyone else besides me know what it's like to be the most blessed person on the earth, just because because of who you're so privileged to hold in your arms? so privileged to love with all your heart? If so, then maybe someone can comprehend a fraction of what the most amazing woman on earth makes me feel."

Well, yes I do Zak (which by in an interesting turn of events, has a miraculously changing name. At least the spelling of it. Maybe that's just my most "excellent" typing skills at work. Foiled again by Me! Darn).

My story starts many years ago, in the past. In my childhood. When things of splendor were pure, and so strong that they could only be experienced and never quite explained. I don't know, perhaps I was born lonly. Perhaps it was just my constitution, by nature, I was destined to suffer of the heart. Yet it wasn't really my heart that suffered, it was my spirit.

You see, if you believe in God, or even in creation stories, if you believe that man was meant for woman, whether we formed from clay, or whether we were rollie pollies split down the back by Zues himself, what remains was I've always been in a state of lonliness, because my soul mate, my spirit match, was on the other side of the planet! Yet, at four years old, I didn't know that. All I knew was the feeling. The sadness, the yearning, the emptiness within.

So between toasted cheese sandwiches with jam smeared ontop, and "Scooby-Doo" cartoons on television I decided to pray to GOD. This was before I even knew God. Before I had the concept of what God actually was, but I heard my mother talking to HIM lots, and I figured he must be around even though I couldn't see Mr. God. He at least listened well, and perhaps he'd listen to me too, whoever he was.

So I got down on my knees, in front of the fireplace, because it looked like an alter... and the TV was just a disctraction anyway. I put my little elbows on the mantle ledge, and said, "Please Mr. God, if you can hear me, please give me a favor someday."

That was the prayer, that was the request. That was it. All I asked, was that someday God would grant me a favor, one to fill that empty feeling I kept having.

Later on in life I would pray for silly things, like good grades during finals week and on term papers, or to get a bigger loan for living expenses, and sometimes I even prayed for rain. But mostly I prayed for "the one".

Well, just over a year ago, I found her. I found the girl that is my soulmate, my one true love. Not to be confused with "to blev", which we all know means to bluff. And I'm sorry to inform Zach, but his Kara -and I'm sure that she is splendid and wondeful in every way, but the fact of the matter is, there can only be one! And that's my girl. Ho-haha, I'm just teasing. The one who makes us whole again, who brings back the rib, who joins us again physically, and if we're lucky, forever in Holy Matrimony; Marriage. These people who complete us and love us as much as we adore them in return, will always be the most "speical" to us.

So I was gone. A full year, in a foreign country. Japan that is. I went there for personal interests. I had become enfatuated with the culture, the myth, the mood, and my addiction grew into a desire. This desire became a goal, 1) learn the language, 2) go to Japan. This goal became achievable, and propelled by family support, desire, and an enfatuation with the entire concept and history of JAPAN, I soon found myself studying hard in a Japanese library. I was going to school in Japan, and then I met her. I met Sayaka Miyamoto.

In previous posts I've gone into detail about our humorous encounter, and the entertaining miscomunications of an international relationship, but once I found her: I KNEW. She was meant for me, and I was meant for her.

So, Tuesday, December 7 of 2004, a week from now, she will be -once again- in my arms. So yes my friend Zach, I do know what it's like to be the most blessed person on the earth, I realize how privileged I am to hold Sayaka in my arms? So blessed to love her with all of my heart? I can comprehend.

But that's not all. After Sayaka and I were well into our 'relationship', I became four years old again. Metaphorically of course, but my heart felt a feeling of "fulfillment" which allowed me sublime bliss. This empty tank was now on full, and the love that filled my life was Sayaka. I genuinely belive there is a God, he tested me long and good before he felt I was ready, but it forced me to grow. Now I have the compacity to love someone else, to love her, beyond my wildest imagination. I am now free to love Sayaka more than I ever felt was possible to love another person. Even a girl! And so I said my second most heart felt prayer in my life, "This girl, this woman, please let 'this' be my favor." I never told her this until now. But I asked my God (who's name I found out to be Jesus) for one thing... if it was inside me, If a man was to love a woman and love was the "truth" and lesson which Christ preached, I asked him to allow me to keep Sayaka happy forever, if only by the warmth of my love. That was my prayer.

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