Thursday, November 09, 2017

**Me Too** (My Sexual Harassment experience that I've kept silent about for more than 10 years)

I came to Japan in my mid-twenties and started my career as an English teaching professional teaching TESOL to Japanese students at elementary and Junior high school.

One of the first experiences any foreign teacher has the privilege of experiencing in Japan is the infamous "kancho." 

It's basically a physical gag where a school child will sneak up behind you and wait till you bend over to wash your hands or drink from the drinking fountain, and then, placing their hands together, their index fingers pointed toward your nether regions like a gun--they jam their fingers into your anus with as much force as possible.

Many foreigners yelp out in shock at the first time small probing fingers try to enter their asshole. If you're a guy, sometimes the little kids miss and mash your balls, which really smarts. If you're a girl, sometimes they hit you right in the glory hole. Either way, none are immune to this childish prank.

During my first week in Japanese public schools, I got kancho-ed no less than seven times. Each time I felt myself getting angrier and angrier. I eventually complained to the vice principal of the school who informed me it's simply something children do.

When in Rome, I thought to myself. And sure enough, the antics of the school children blew over once they got to know me. As a matter of fact, I later found out that many school kids do this to new teachers to "test" them and see how they'll react. And being a foreigner in a strange land, I knew that they were taking advantage of the situation. But this isn't a case of sexual harassment since, in most cases, school kids six and seven years old aren't even aware of what sexual harassment is. To them, it's just a silly prank.

What came as a rather big shock to me, however, was when my 14 and 15 year old junior high school students did the same thing my first few weeks of school.

Again, as a new teacher, I got the sense they were testing me. But the guys also liked to swat at my balls in the bathroom when I was taking a pee--as a joke. And if you've ever listened to pubescent teenagers of 15 talk, you know they are all entering their hormonal stage where everything becomes about sex for them.

After my second year teaching, several of my third year students (the equivalent of freshman in high school) decided to play a naughty prank on me.

As it turned out, I achieved the thing I was aiming for--familiarity with my students. I went through great trouble to learn each and every one of the names of my graduating students. I wanted them to like me and think of me as a cool, hip teacher. And to that effect, I succeeded. Also, being the token foreigner amongst an all Japanese staff, many of the students would approach me with questions asking about the difference between their culture and mine. 

I was always happy to answer such questions except when they were sexually explicit and entirely inappropriate.

Once a boy student asked me, "Are Japanese girls' pussies tighter than American girls' pussies?"

I was taken aback by the bluntness of the question. I merely replied to him in Japanese, "I can't talk about such things at school. It's not appropriate."

He laughed and wandered off with his friends. Another time, a different boy student asked me how big my penis was and if he could see it. I didn't know whether to be flattered or traumatized. 

I politely apologized, as is custom in Japan, and informed him it wasn't appropriate to talk about such things and shrugged it off and went about my week. 

But the more familiar my boy students became with me as their teacher the more emboldened they got and, soon enough, began asking me all kinds of lewd questions. 

Granted, they were curious and I was technically the only one who could answer such questions about the "cultural" differences they were interested in, except for the fact that it would have been entirely inappropriate. So, as always, I deflected their questions or did my best to change the subject to something that would hold their attention--such as sports.

As the boys kept me preoccupied, I never saw the real threat of the girls--who were equally curious and perhaps a little more aware of their own sexual maturity. Whereas with the boys it was just a game, the girls approached their sexuality in a more up front sort of way. A way which snuck up on me. Quite literally speaking.

In Japan, the students all have a cleaning hour at the end of the day. They all work together to clean their school. Which is why Japanese schools don't have janitors.

One day while cleaning, a couple of girl students of mine rushed over to tell me that their friend had fallen down and hurt her knee. They were adamant that I should come right away. Worried that a student of mine was actually in trouble, I followed them to the stairwell.

One of the girls pointed to the dark area behind the staircase, which was merely a storage area, and stepped to the side as I leaned in to see what the matter was. Without warning, from behind, both girls shoved me into the nook behind the stairs.

I reached out as I fell forward and my hands mashed into something soft. When I looked up I found one of my girl students, her shirt and bra pulled up over her chest, laying under me as she stared up at me with brown eyes and flushed cheeks.

I looked down to find my hands firmly pressed upon her small budding breasts and I quickly recoiled, pulling my hands away. But as I tried to clamor to my feet, the two girls behind me leaned into my back, practically hopping on me piggy-back style and forced me back down onto the third girl.

I caught myself with my hands, my face hovering dangerously close to the third girl's face. As she looked up at me, she asked me in a deliberately sensual tone, "Do you like me, Mr. Vick?"

One of the girls from behind said in a loud voice, "Mr. Vick, please touch my breasts next!" 

The other girl from behind quipped, "I want him to touch me someplace else."

All three girls snickered and giggled excitedly. I remember one even snorted and that made them laugh all the more.

Angered, I pushed myself up and shoved the two girls behind me out of my way. I retreated to the hallway when, turning to the right, I saw Kanda sensei making his way toward us.

I knew that if he caught wind of anything that had just transpired, I could get in huge trouble. I might even lose my job. And the girl students, for their crime of adolescent naivete and sexually immature antics, could get expelled. 

Flustered, I didn't know what to do. My heart raced with nervous embarrassment and fear gripped me. I remember panic set in and I began to have trouble breathing.

Meanwhile, the girl beneath the stairwell pulled down her clothes and casually stepped out into the hall with us. All the girls turned as Kanda sensei approached and when he saw them giggling he ordered them to get back to cleaning. Without even batting an eye they took off, giggling amongst themselves down the entirety of the school corridor.

Seeing that I was without a broom, Kanda sensei opened the broom closet underneath the stairwell and handed me a bristle broom. I thanked him and moved on. He immediately turned to see boys throwing rocks at each other outside and rushed out to chastise them and order them to get back to cleaning.

As I stood in the hallway, sweeping the same spot over and over again, I tried to wrap my brain around what had just happened. Of course, I never mentioned it to anybody. I was too scared.

I knew that if I came clean with what had actually happened the girls could team up against me and lie about what had occurred, claiming that I attacked them and molested them. I knew they were all close friends and so would protect each other--if push came to shove--and being minors I could lose my job. 

And even if it was deemed that it wasn't my fault--that I merely was a victim to their adolescent antics, at the very least it cast suspicion on me as a potential sexual predator. Which was practically just as bad as actually being falsely accused as one. Because then everyone would be wondering whether the rumors were true and this would give rise to new rumors--none of them bound to be good.

At the same time, I didn't want the girls to be unfairly disciplined, and from my short time in Japan I had seen first-hand how harsh some of the school's punishments were for things that, by my American standards, were trivial non-offenses. I didn't want to get them suspended from school for a one-time offense. Moreover, I didn't want my relationship with my students to become strained to the point where they didn't feel like they could trust me or be themselves around me.

So, I did the only thing I could do. I kept it to myself.

Was it the right thing to do? I think so. 

I couldn't change what had happened. But at least I had some small control over what happened next.

I went the rest of the year without another incident. If it would have continued, I would have certainly mentioned it. But instead, the girls just blew me kissy faces, batted their eyes at me, and giggled the rest of the year long. They were only teasing.

But, in retrospect, I think their big prank was perhaps a little too much. And because it was overly sexual and placed me in an awkward and potentially problematic situation, I sometimes grow anxious whenever the memory should resurface. Which is why I have never talked about it till now.

That said, this account showcases only a mild case of sexual harassment. These students all acted out of innocent ignorance and out of a sense of fun and wanting to get to know me better. And, as the saying goes, no harm no foul. 

In fact, all three girls stay in touch with me to this day. And if that should sound weird, consider that they're all college graduates now, and are the age I was when I first taught them (25). Two of them are married with children and they send me pictures of their families and tell me that whenever they get together they reminisce about the good old days and tell me they always talk about how I was such a fun teacher for them.

Sexual harassment is a sensitive subject matter because it's also a highly personal subject matter--and because people will undoubtedly respond differently to it. Most assuredly, there are cases far more severe and damaging than what I experienced, so please don't feel sorry for me. Everything worked out well enough in the end. Nobody was hurt by it, other than a bit of awkwardness it may have caused me. 

Needless to say, I was on my guard around young adolescent people from there on in, and I most certainly never followed students blindly into dark corners of the school ever again.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Vick Fam Japan Earthquake Relief

Please help my family piece our lives back together after the back-to-back devastating Japan quakes and chip in if you can. Any amount helps.

Friday, April 29, 2016

7.4 magnitude Earthquake shatters Kumamoto (We survive)

If you follow me on social media, FB, Twitter, that sort of thing... you know that I am extremely active. You may have also noticed that for the past two weeks I've been entirely absent. Dead silent, you might say. There's a reason for this.

As you may well know, Kumamoto, the city I live in, was struck by two back-to-back devastating earthquakes. Both a level 6.5 magnitude quake, which happened on April 15th, and a 7.4 magnitude quake, April 16th, rocked the Mashiki area of Kumamoto city. That's a mere 3 km from where we (my family and I) live. Meanwhile, downtown the quake measured a whopping 7.1. That's about 5 km from the epicenter.

After the 7.4 quake we were forced to evacuate our home, where we fled outside to the middle of the street with all of the stunned neighbors. The local schools in our area were all turned into emergency shelters and the gymnasiums quickly filled up with the elderly and those who had lost their homes due to the quake.

We opted to camp out of our cars instead of go to one of the shelters, and for the past two weeks my family has been living out of our car. Not easy for a family of four, two grandparents, and a couple of dogs. But we managed. We were just glad to be alive. 

Granted, it wasn't the ideal living arrangements, but we made due. My kids thought of it as a kind of camping trips. Mom and dad were just terribly stressed. The ground hasn't stopped rumbling for two weeks. As of now, there have been over 1,000 sizable tremors and aftershocks. 

That's right. There have been over 1,000 earthquakes in just two weeks! 

I felt that it was worth repeating because it's such a large number to even attempt to grasp. Living through it has been... well... educational, to say the least.

The first few days after the big shake there was an aftershock every 15 to 20 minutes. The first few aftershocks register as level 6 magnitude quakes. There were seven of those intermixed with a series of high level 5 quakes. 

Now, the level 6.5 quake was enough to knock down all our bookshelves, cupboards, cabinets, and picture frames. All our dishes, the toaster, and anything else that could fall onto the floor and break into a gazzillion pieces did so.

But the 7.4 was the real trouble maker. 

I describe the difference of a 6.5 quake and a 7.5 five magnitude quake as the difference between Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk.

The reason that 1 point is so much more devastating is that it's a 10% increase in magnitude. Remember, earthquakes are measured exponentially. So it's an exponential growth. 

Additionally, the level 7.4 quake was powerful enough to send out tsunami warnings. 

Luckily (if luck had anything to do with it) the vibrations headed north inland instead of out to sea. So the tsunami warning abated, but it was still terrifying to have to worry about an 800 ft. tidal wave traveling faster than a Boeing 747 headed your way to wipe you off the map. Luckily that didn't happen. But the threat was very real.

And while you worry about trying not to die, you worry ten fold about keeping your children safe. And that seems like a daunting task when you're up against Mother Nature.

If you want to know what it's like to be in the thick of an earthquake, please read this excellent blog post regarding How Does an Earthquake Really Feel?

By the end of the first week the aftershocks had died down to a few every 30 minutes or so. At the end of the second week, where we're at now, we're down to a few high level 3s and 4s every few hours.

Now that I have the Internet back... and I'm sorry to say this... the JAPAN earthquakes here in Kumamoto and the Kyushu region left our house in terrible disarray... and it looks like I'm left little choice but to set up a crowd sourcing campaign and start groveling.

It's not something I really ever wanted to have to do. Ask for handouts. But as my friend Brad pointed out, it's not begging for money so much as it's a genuine plea for help when there's a more than valid need for a humanitarian relief effort.

Our water boiler bit the big one. We haven't had hot water in two weeks. And after spending 5 days living out of a car, the first thing you want is a hot bath.

A portion of our roof tiles fell off the roof, and now we're using a blue tarp to keep the rain out.

We lost the east facing glass windows to our house. The neighbor's stupid cat keeps coming into our house because -- hey -- new hole to explore.

Every wall inside the house needs to be replaced due to the amount of damage done to the dry wall. Although they broke mainly along the seems, because our walls use wallpaper (not paint) the wallpaper has been shredded and so the whole thing must come down. (Major pain in the ass -- but this is labor we can do, we just need to be able to afford enough materials for replacing the bulk of our home's walls).

90% of our dishes will need replacing. It's not a huge priority. We still have a lot of bowls that survived because they were protected on the inside of the fridge.

Family portraits lost some glass from the frames, meaning we'll need to replace those. Although it's not a huge priority. A simple glass frame from the dollar store is all we'll need.

Many other small and trivial items need replacing. We lost our toaster oven. Our automatic tea kettle. Things you really take for granted when you want some tea or toast and realize you can't make any.

There are, of course, things I won't ask to replace such as trivial items like my Sideshow Collectibles Premium Format Wonder Woman statue. She's busted up, but I'll probably have a lot of fun gluing the pieces back together and repainting her.

Our house isn't earthquake insured, and it didn't sustain enough damage for regular insurance to kick in (which, I suppose is a good thing considering the house would need to be toppled over for the insurance to kick in), meaning we are getting stuck with the full financial burden of the repairs.

And since it's my wife's family home, we can't just up and move. Which means we will need to do some major fixing. Which costs money.

As such, it seems I have little in the way of options and am currently looking for the best crowd sourcing platform to begin my groveling and begging for money. I post the details of that later this week.

Until then, here's a video showing the startling amount of destruction done to Mashiki:

Reflections #1: From Nightmare School to Dream School

After JET Programme finished for me, and I moved from Hiroshima to Kumamoto, I was lucky enough to find a teaching job just two weeks after the move.

It was in a town about an hour and a half from where I lived, but an easy enough commute on the train. A little longer by car.

Needless to say I was just happy I could continue to pay the bills, put food on the table, and provide for my family. I really didn't care how far I had to go to do that.

And everything seems alright. After all, I had taught at 14 different junior high schools and elementary schools in Japan. I thought this one would be like all the others. I couldn't have been further from the truth if I'd tried.

I had a nightmare first year at the new JHS I taught at.

The kids were a nightmare. Every day there was some strange or dangerous incident. Just off the top of my head...

A teen once threw his desk through a window.

A girl student stabbed a teacher with a pair of scissors.

A couple of parents were suing the school because the school counselor found out their daughter wasn't taking her anti-psychotic meds, and the teacher was obligated by the law to inform the school and, supposedly, this embarrassment caused the family to feel as though they lost face with the community -- thus the lawsuit.

And this same girl kicked a underclassman down a flight of stairs because the underclassman wouldn't agree with her as to what the best K-pop band was.

I dad a boy student with ADHD who kept jumping out of the 3rd floor window and scaling the wall to the 2nd story window then running around like a wild-thing.

It was insane to say the least.

And those are the good stories of the year. Everything just got worse from there on in. That school took me to my breaking point as a teacher.

Luckily, once those kids graduated, it was, you might say... a miraculous change. The dynamics of the whole school changed.

Once the Children of the Corn graduated, that school became my all time favorite school I've ever had the privilege of working at.

Strange how that works.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Non-alcoholic Beer and Japan as a Social Drinking Culture

Non-alcoholic beer is just soda flavored beer. It's a lot like chocolate soda flavored beer. It exists without reason or purpose simply for the sake of existing.

That said, non alcoholic beers do play a rather big social function here in Japan, where they have a ZERO alcohol policy for drinking and driving. The actual legal limit is BrAC 0.15 mg/L (equivalent to 0.03%). To put this into perspective, a piece of rum cake would set you over that limit.

A one time offense for drinking and driving in Japan (with zero altercations) is the suspension of your license for six month and a 5K $USD fine! The second offense is the permanent suspension of your license and up to a 10K $USD fine (my Japanese driver's education manual says this fine is actually up to the presiding judge). If you kill anyone in a DUI / DWI it's an automatic jail sentence plus anything else the judge wants to throw at you.

Japan has some of the strictest drinking laws I've ever seen.

That's where non-alcoholic beer comes into the equation.

In Japan, social drinking with work employees is ritualistic. There are several mandatory drinking parties a year -- even for public schools like mine!

New Years, is of course the biggest, but then there are PTA, Graduation, and start and end to the semester drinking parties. There's a Christmas drinking party as well. Every December 22nd all teachers receive a pledge form from their school that they must sign promising that they will not drink and drive and will use good judgement throughout the evening, even if they become intoxicated. The form is legally binding, so drinking and driving would result in losing their job!

Corporate companies have even more drinking parties, as they host foreign bosses and work exchange employees and every time there is a visitor or a tour of the factory / company, there will be a drinking party. In Japan, being a good host is vital to the identity of the Japanese people and part of their inbuilt tradition of manners and serving as a sign of respect. So, of course, such parties are mandatory.

With this amount of pressure to drink -- sometimes two or three times a week... non-alcoholic beer becomes the polite way to join these events without actually becoming an alcoholic, or getting slobbering drunk for that matter.

It allows employees to save face, pay the proper respect, be a part of the group, and not loose their driving privileges! It also allows women employees, who feel the same pressures to drink, to switch out to something that won't give them alcohol poisoning as they have to drink for two to three hours at the main party -- only to have to drink more at the ni-ji-kai or after-party.

The more you know!

(Classic Japanese beer ad snagged from Everything Japan)

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Conformity in Japan: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Part 3: The Ugly)

Resistance is futile.

It has taken me longer than expected to write this article mainly for two reasons. First, I've been extremely overwhelmed this year. This year has been non-stop trial and tribulation and has been one of the hardest years for me that I've ever experienced. 

I started a new job that paid less than half my old job, and to make things worse, I was lied to about the salary and the quality of the school. On top of suffering financial strain due to the aforementioned lackluster job deal, I've been extremely busy. My daughter started preschool and I've been driving an extra hour out of my already overly busy, overly long, commute everyday; raising my daily commute to ***three hours instead of one and a half, and that has given me stress--both mentally and physically. Rush hour traffic and the time spent in the car is realling beginning to take its toll on my lower back, and I'm this close to tearing out the car seats.

I have had so many challenges this year that's it's not even funny. In fact, it's worse than not funny. Earlier this year my father took his own life, unexpectedly. Nobody even saw it coming, because there was nothing particularly wrong--at least that any of us were aware of. We're still at a loss to explain it. So that's been tough. 

The second reason that I've taken my sweet time getting to finishing up this series is that I truly love Japan--more than I can express in words--and in my mind it feels something like a betrayal to criticize and badmouth a country that has come to be like a second home to me. 

But that said, I have to be realistic and honest about it. Japan is great, but she isn't perfect.

As I mentioned in my previous essays, conformity is the real binding strength of Japanese society, but at the same time, it is also what causes Japan her greatest hardships.

I've talked about both the good and the bad, but now it's time to talk about the ugly.


The Pacific Conflict was a great example of this. Japan thought Imperialism was the way to go, and everyone went along with it. Japan was the first Asian nation to grow as powerful as any Western imperialism, and they were able to rival all of Europe and the United States in terms of economic strength. What they lacked, however, was diplomacy.

You see, in Japan they were under the rule of an emperor, and his cabinet of advisers, half of whom were military affiliated. That means, those who had the emperor's ear were all about deploying a command and conquer type plan to ensure Japan maintain her new-found economic greatness.

In a land of conformity, where the majority rules, there is no disagreeing. They simply do not allow for the difference of opinion.

This lead to wars with Russia, Korea, China, Australia, and eventually escalated into the bombing of Pearl Harbor--and war with the United States and the Allied Forces.

Here's the thing though--the Japanese Emperor was AGAINST the war!

But even he, a veritable god (in his time), could not persuade the majority--especially when they are all power greedy cabinet members with one track minds about how to maintain Japan's might in the global economy.

In today's Japan, things are much better. But at the same time, things are still far from perfect. Or, for that matter, even ideal.

Japan is a nation divided by generational barriers.

On the one hand, young Japanese people in their twenties and thirties have access to technology, the Internet, smartphones, and are interested in other cultures beyond simply that of Japan's.

But the older generation, for the most part, is not.

I have experienced extremely shocking incidents of racism in Japan. Being singled out as a minority, being profiled, stopped at the train station and have my things searched through by the police, more than once, for no other reason than I look different--is always a drag.

But this attitude stems from the older generation. No millennial or gen X Japanese person would ever dream of stopping all foreign looking people simply because they're foreign. Profiling would never enter their mind. After all, looking suspicious has nothing to do with the color of your skin. But the policy makers of an aging Japan would certainly think profiling works. This stems, in my opinion, from a hangover from the war era and the way they were probably raised (racism begets racism, after all).

This unwitting racism takes many forms. Consider the 60 year old principle at my old school, for example. He was raised to think the foreign invaders were evil intruders wanting to steal their land and rape their women. They were instructed to throw rocks at the American soldiers. And they were taught to hate the foreigners. So imagine the heads of state, all men from this generation, and the top officials in the police, all from this generation, unable to shake the fear lingering in the back of their mind that foreigners may be evil and are therefore likely suspect?

That kind of brainwashing is hard to get over. So a lot of the racism I experience comes mainly from these types of people... from one very specific generation.

I've never been singled out by a young Japanese person in the decade I have lived in Japan. But I have been punched, standing in the customs line at the airport, by a random drunk 60 year old Japanese man, for no apparent reason. If a Japanese young person gets drunk, they usually just want to try using English with me. But that's the extent of it. But I have often been harassed by old Japanese men--for no reason--other than I was in their direct line of sight.


In Japan you often can find Japanese people praising Japan to high heaven. Entire television shows are dedicated to talking about how great and wonderful Japan is on a weekly basis (never mind nobody running these shows has likely ever been to a foreign country). And what's more, they want everyone in Japan to be reminded of how great Japan is every damn day.

If a show talks about a foreign culture, the celebrity guests puzzle over what oddities other countries are, and then talk about how in Japan they do it a different way--but express it in such as to insinuate that in Japan they do it in a better way.

Such one sided praise feeds into an underlying nationalism, and conservative worldview, which is at odds of what Japan needs to become in order to adapt to today's multi-cultural global society. It's ancient Japan competing with modern Japan--and the generational rift re-emerges.

It also leads to bad policy making due to a limited, or lacking foresight.


Instead of outsourcing and hiring more foreigners to come take care of their elderly, Japan spends billions of dollars in robotics research. Not entirely a bad thing mind you, but it won't be enough to fix the rapidly aging population. With so many of Japan's farmers retiring, and so many young people moving to the cities, their agriculture infrastructure is on the brink of collapse. Instead of bringing in foreigners to help stabilize the farming industry, Japanese farmers simply keep working into old age--with no one to replace them.

By 2016 there will be approximately six elderly people in retirement homes for every single thirty year old working in Japan. That's just too many old people for Japan's current economy to sustain.

But knowing this problem, why the continued reluctance to change?

Truthfully, I can't help but feel that part of the problem might be because of their reluctance to bring in foreign assistance. Bringing an influx of foreign nationals would force Japan to be less nationalistic in its stance with regard to foreign policy. Japan currently exists under the paradigm of "do what's best for the Japanese" not "do what's best for Japan."

It's paradoxical, because the Japanese make up Japan, but instead of doing what's best for everyone, they seem to abide by more selfish goals--at least as far as policy making goes. Whereas my home country in America has think tanks specially designed to address very specific American concerns, like how to improve education, how to deal with global warming, and so on, Japan has none of these. It seems the Japanese mindset is akin to--Japan works--if it's not broke, don't fix it. But after living her for practically a decade, it's very apparent, that Japan barely works. There is room for much improvement.

So instead of dealing with the issues that challenge Japan head on, and doing things like making new laws to accommodate foreign workers, well, this is Japan! No need for that. Why bother bringing in foreign aid, passing laws, and having to adjust your society to accommodate something explicitly non-Japanese when you could just build more robots?

These are just some of the biggest problems facing Japan today.

But worse than all these combined is the penetrating apathy that conformity breeds when conformity proves to be counter productive.

Think of it like this, conformity is a double edged sword. It's great for slicing through your problems, but if you fall on it, you'll be cut in two too.

If a group of Japanese do not grasp a concept, or cannot seem to adequately address or assess a real potential threat, then the rest suddenly begin to reflect this attitude. It exists at all levels in Japan. Elementary school first graders will play a bingo game, and the ones who never get a bingo, cry miserably--because they failed. Japanese politics is the same way. When it succeeds, it goes above and beyond, but when it fails, everyone falls down on their swords.

Japan seems to be a country destined to either succeed together or give up together. And that's why conformity is so ugly in Japan.

English education doesn't work? Well, let's scrap all funding for English education then! Never mind that it's been taught completely wrong for over three decades.

That's how Japan fails together!


Understandably, however, I can't blame all of Japan's failings on a misguided socialistic conformity which occasionally backfires. All I am saying is that this misguided conformity seems to always resurface wherever a genuine problem arises.

It's never just one thing, but it is always something plus the conformity issue. As I mentioned in the previous essay, tattoos are viewed as taboo here in Japan. But only because it's a conformity issue and nobody questions it. Nobody says, hey, wait, maybe tattoos aren't bad? Maybe I'll let you work at my establishment or join the city gym or come to the bathhouse because you're a genuinely good person. Nope. Tattoos are bad. If you have one. You're bad. So conform already, because hell, it's not about you. It's about everybody else.

Of course, this sort of thinking impacts all areas of Japanese life. It is impossible to ever walk away from the pressure to conform to society's norms. It's not like America, where standing out and being yourself is applauded.

Standing out, like having a tattoo, is seen as taboo. In fact, what is having a tattoo other than an attempt to stand out? That's the thinking anyway.

Instead, in Japan, it's about holding hands and not rocking the boat--together. Sing kumbaya and that kind of shit. That head banging, tattooed, metal head type person who stands up and rocks the boat too much is pounded down, like a pesky obtuse nail. And they will keep pounding you down until you stay down.


Much of Japan's legal system is predicated on this type of unquestioning, socialistic, attitude as well. It's not so much whether or not you follow the laws, per se. It's that you follow the laws the same way society follows the laws as a whole.

Which is kind of shooting yourself in the foot, when you stop to think about it.

It's basically like ignoring the speed limit simply because everyone speeds anyway. And then the police not enforcing the speed limit because they know everyone speeds anyway. So what good is the law to begin with?

But if everyone follows some unspoken rule, then by god, everyone will do that thing--because it's Japan. To keep with the driving analogies, there is a strange thing Japanese people do that is NOT a law, but you would be forgiven thinking it was one.

At a red traffic light, at night, everyone who comes to a stop turns OFF their headlights.

Suddenly the only thing illuminating the street is the red glow of the traffic light. If it sounds horrifyingly dangerous, it is. I see more cars start up on a green who forget to turn back on their headlights than any where else I've been to in my entire life. Why even do this strange thing?

Well, because it's something most Japanese people just do.

Who knows why they started it? Maybe they're being polite. Maybe it's a type of Japanese respect being paid to the other driver. Is it safer? Not in the least. But everyone does it none the less.

The saying when in Rome, do as the Romans do is a good rule of thumb when visiting a foreign land for the first time. But having lived in that foreign land for a decade, sometimes there comes a day when you have to say, wait a minute, this is wrong. This does us no good. Let's stop with this and try something else.

But in Japan, such a notion is sacrilege. And that's the ugly.

But hey, they have nice castles. So it's not all bad.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Bento She Needs

It's not the bento she deserves, but it's the one she needs right now.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Conformity in Japan: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (Part 2)

Last time I talked about some of the good aspects of conformity in Japan. This time I am taking the gloves off and am going to talk about the bad. I must warn you, a lot of this comes from personal experience, so if it starts sounding like I am griping, I apologize. But the way I perceive it, there is just a lot more "bad" which comes as a consequence of conformity than good.

Briefly, the good amounts to strong group ethics, supporting the family and parents (which often times means living at home permanently), a feeling of unity, and a close-knit culture which realizes that manners and politeness are required at every level to keep society flowing smoothly, and where negative criticism is rarely ever spoken out loud because this would stir up tension and effectively ruin the "Wa" (or peace and harmony) of the group.

Overall, it creates a peaceful atmosphere where you can be at ease. Where being part of the group is seen as desirable. It creates the perfect atmosphere for nation wide cultural festivals too, because everyone can partake in them without anyone ever overstepping the bounds of social etiquette too much (unless they are drunk--then they find excuses to go crazy).

But at the same time, it has a few negative consequences. Such as the fact that everyone thinks it's perfectly healthy and fine to smoke cigarettes, and do it all day long, and in your face. It's not perceived as rudeness, or even wrong, because it's simply what everyone does.

Meanwhile, another good aspect is that it forces you to tip-toe around the feelings of others (a good thing in and of itself) as it makes you work extremely hard to get good at thinking before you speak. Group related functions always do.

But at the same time, at least for me, this is the most exhausting thing about the Japanese way of life. It is the constant struggle to think about what I say and how my words will effect every little thing and every person in the room. I am horrible at it, mainly because I am a talker and, more importantly, an American talker. In other words, I like the sound of my own voice a little too much, so it's hard for me to zip the lip, so to speak.

But in almost a decade of living in Japan, I have improved considerably. I now spend minutes on end thinking of what to say in important meetings, so that I can make every word count. This is an art form the Japanese have mastered. I struggle with it daily.

I only raise this example, because it shows how a culture of conformity can both be beneficial to you but at the same time be slightly harmful.

While giving thought to every word allows me to interact with others on a higher plane of respect and manners, it creates barriers too. I can never make intimate personal friends on first or second gatherings because one simply isn't allowed to show their true self. Every thought, every word, is highly controlled, and it takes twice as long to get to learn anybodies real personality because their individual personality always is suppressed by the societal expectations of conformity to the group mind and the social etiquette.

For example, it is great to be able to never have to take negative criticism or face embarrassment and have so many people be so polite all the time. The problem is, sometimes it is hard to tell if they sincerely mean it, or if they are simply blowing smoke up your ass. For all you know, they might hate your guts, but for the fact that they are adhering to a culture of conformity which prides its niceties above individual quips. It sometimes can breed an environment of artificial compliments and, regrettably, people spend more time trying not to step on each others toes than actually addressing their real concerns.

Subsequently, this creates the infamous "talking in circles syndrome" common to Japanese daily life. It affects everything from school functions, such as PTA meetings, to corporation and employee relations, to national politics. As a side-effect, it also makes agreement hard to come by when one person doesn't quite agree, or worse still, it makes it near impossible to state the problem straight forward and then tackle the issue.

Every year I join what is known as Kenshukai (which means Research Education) which are Prefecture wide events in which you travel to various school districts in your area (or ward if you live in the city) and "study" teaching methodologies and then comment on the strengths and weaknesses of each school system. The way this differs from genuine pedagogy is pedagogy actually focuses on the new ways to teach and how to implement new techniques which will improve learning and education. Kenshukais, however, are bogged down by the incessant diplomacy of the Japanese. If there are real problems, they often only get hinted at, in a roundabout way, and never are put fully on the table.

The best example of this, that I have seen, was when my old Board of Education invited Mrs. Matsuka, founder and CEO of the Matsuka Phonics Corporation in Japan, to give a lecture at the mid-year Education Research seminar. She came in from the city, and in not so many words, flat out said that the teachers were to blame for teaching English the wrong way in Japan.

Silence fell over the crowd. And afterward, hands shot up across the room. Instead of posing questions of how do we change the way we teach English, which would be a discussion of pedagogy, what happened was strange. People raised objections by saying it was impossible to change the curriculum as mandated by the Japanese government, they said even if they tried it they wouldn't have time to prepare (even though they are at school all summer long working while kids are on vacation), and they acknowledged that the Japanese way of teaching English was not adequate but, in effect, said it couldn't be helped.

But, but, but... It was all excuses... for not adopting the right techniques and methods of English education.

I was flabbergasted by this response. But looking back, I realize what they were doing was simply a mass exercise in "not rocking the boat."

Here they were faced with a radical CEO of a successful company which taught the right way of teaching English--a proved methodology which works--and a success record. But Matsuka was butting heads with the very education system itself. Instead of objecting to her radicalism, they simply dismissed her methods, and nobody, not a single person, said--yeah, I'm willing to risk sticking out as a rebel if it means my students have a real chance of learning.


Not a single educator in the room was willing to go out on a line and take Matsuka's side, because, it would mean rubbing up against the system, and it would mean trying to convince the parents, politicians, and policy makers that they weren't only wrong--but so wrong that they had erected a system which works against the goal of integrating English as a second language in Japan.

As an aside, it was no skin of her back, as Matsuka simply charged her going rate for giving lectures and was off before they could recuperate from what had hit them.

But the lesson I observed was clear. The group conglomerated together to resist the one proved way which actually works when it comes to integrating English education in any non-English speaking culture. They did so because they were all under the impression that it was impossible to change the system, impossible to incorporate, or impossible to execute, for whatever reasons--and this is how they all felt about it. End of discussion.

This is what is effectively known as group-think. Where the group thinks the same, and because everyone else holds to the same beliefs, it is believed as true simply because their is an ubiquity of like belief.

This can be good when one is well informed and correct about an issue. But when the consensus is wrong, as it occurs, it usually means the entire group will be wrong too.

Instead of dealing with the issues, they grow dismissive of anything that doesn't conform to the group-mentality, and this resistance to anything which goes against the group is a way of using conformity to override the radical opinions of those people who dare to stand out. Once rejected, the person is either made to submit to the group or they are made an outcast.

Now, I use the example of English education in Japan, since that is what I am most familiar with and have analysed it in detail. But this same problem of group-think dominates the way Japanese respond to real world issues and spills over into their politics and everyday life too.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had an idea rejected or been dismissed for rasing a cross-cultural point by the simple phrase "But this is Japan. That's not how we do it in Japan," or simply "This is the Japanese way."

They use it, almost as if to say, because you're not Japanese you couldn't possibly understand. No, I am afraid I understand all too well. It is because you are Japanese--and so is everyone else--that you refuse to accept any other way but for the Japanese way.

In the next article, part three, I'll talk about the ugly aspects of conformity in Japan. The aspects which create things such as racism, the secluded "island mentality" which contributes to an unease with foreigners and foreign cultures, or the opposite extreme, xenophilia.